What do you think "TRULY" is the Greatest Gift that you can give someone? Seriously, Stop and think about it for a second or so before you read on... Well, what did you come up with? Love? Money? Diamonds? A Car? What? So what is your Answer? Well, I think the answer will actually surprise you, but if you truly think about it, I think it's the very same thing every one of us wants on a deep, deep level... It's what you want almost in every interaction you have with people, friends, family, at work, even a total stranger... And what that is? "UNDERSTANDING" Yes, the Answer is Truly Understanding someone and coming from a place of actually understanding them! The Greatest gift you can give a woman is Understanding! Now this isn't quite as easy as it may sound to a lot of people, especially men! In fact, this is the #1 Core Problem in Relationships between men and women! In Fact, this is the #1 Barrier to men and women truly connecting emotionally on a deep, deep level. See, the Right brain, the Female Brain, for both men and women is very sensitive and it is afraid to open up because it can get hurt emotionally when it is open! In fact men just as much if not more than women have a really hard time opening up to this part of their brain... Ok, so what do I mean? Well, I mean that most men will hear this and think, "Oh, I will say the words, 'I Understand'!" But, that's not what I mean and that's not what she means. Not just saying, "Oh, I understand" even if you say it a lot.... it's not a matter of saying a word or phrase or series of words. It's a matter of learning how to open up to your right brain and coming from the same place emotionally and the same part of the brain / nervous system, seeing it from and feeling it from and processing it from the same place, "LITERALLY!!!" It's about "Literally" being on the same page! Feeling what she's feeling, seeing and understanding things from where she is at and what she is expressing! See, if she is expressing something to you and you are on the outside looking in, which is when you are in the External/Outside Left Male Brain, which #1 see's things externally, you are logically understanding / judging it and #2 You are looking at her like she is a specimen in a fish bowl and you are studying her, because that's what the left brain does! It's not connected to the emotions and feelings! It is not processing in the same way that the right female, emotional, 5 senses brain is processing from! Thus you are literally "NOT" Understanding her at all... You are hearing, seeing and feeling and understanding it logically, not Right Brain Emotionally or Physically! Which changes the meaning to her words and body language and expression completely! Stop, think about it for a second. The left brain is a Logical Processor. Thus it is processing what she is saying / expressing through the logical processor and changes the meaning to the words, Literally! Because the right brain is the 5 Senses processor. It literally processes words through the 5 senses/ emotions! Get it? See it? Understand? So, overall, what I am saying for anyone dealing with anyone from men or women, do your best to step into their shoes and see, hear and experience things from where they are coming from, otherwise you are not Understanding them! Now stop and think about this for a moment... How many times have you felt hurt or angry or sad and nobody understood you? How many times have you tried to express something very, very important to someone close to you and they just couldn't or didn't understand. But they did say, "Oh yeah, sure, sure, I understand." But you knew they didn't.... How did you feel? Like shit right? Well, let me tell you, when a woman is desperately trying to reach you to understand her and you are listening to her logically, it's the most frustrating feeling in the world. It feels like you simply don't care, no matter how closely you are paying attention Logically!!! Get it? See it? Hear it? How many times have you had a friend or your wife or girlfriend blow up at you after you painstakingly tried to logically understand her? I mean you sincerely tried to listen and understand her and you really though you did!!! In fact, you might have even said, "Oh, I understand!" And then she broke down in tears and yelled at you and said, "NO YOU DON'T????" Look at it like this. If you are logically listening to her, and she is in her right brain at the time and expressing herself to you, then you are literally processing her right brain senses words through the logical processor which changes the actual meaning to the same words she is expressing and using! Now the other problem is, when you are processing in your logical brain, you are literally JUDGING Them!!! Because that is where we judge from. And this doesn't make anyone feel safe emotional to open up and talk to you about something intimate or personal... So if you notice her shutting down and not talking or saying, "never mind, it's ok", or "Let's change the subject!" Well what just happened is, she doesn't feel like you understand her at all and that you are in the judging, logical brain which makes anyone, even you feel totally uncomfortable when trying to share something important or personal or intimate! Letting go of Judgment completely is important because it is a barrier to Real, Deep, True Understanding! And this is one of the Biggest Reasons women shut down and eventually divorce their husbands and leave them. Or not have sex with you!!! See, Understanding to a woman is the equivalent to being Loved, being sensual and turns her on and allows her to feel really, really comfortable and safe talking to you in a very intimate and personal way which leads to making love! Now this is the difference between just having sex and making Love! Making Love comes from a place of being deeply understood and loved. In fact you can't even say Loved without saying "Deeply Understood!" Because Love is being Deeply Understood! Without it, the door to her heart or anyones heart is closed!!!! So come take my course on how to open up to a Deeper Level Of Understanding through a series of teachings and actual step by step techniques that actually open you up so you can both be on the same level!!! Now that's The Greatest Gift you can give to anyone! LOVE & UNDERSTANDING!!!! Thank you all and have a Merry, Merry Christmas!!! Blessings to all... Your Dating & Relationship Coach Mike Kollin
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