THE POWER TO INFLUENCE CONVINCINGLY & GET WHAT YOU WANT!!!
Here's an Awesome Influence and Communication tip that is[caption id="attachment_764" align="alignleft" width="150" caption="Meeting cute women is easy!"][/caption] very healthy for all interactions in relationships, business, sales or just everyday communication experiences. It helps open the door to effective communication and clarity in conversations so at least they will truly listen to understand you and what you are sharing with them! Now, first of all, most people suck at listening, but don't even know it. In fact, I think this is going to shock you and open you up to what listening actually is. That is part II. Now, have you ever had a conversation where the person you were talking to wasn't actually listening to or even on the same page as you? And no matter what you said, they kept trying to say you were saying B. and yet you were adamantly saying A. Well, here's what's going! Most people try to force their beliefs or values or opinions onto others and so over time, most people by the time they are teenagers and into adulthood put an automatic I have to defend myself shield up or I am going to think 3 steps ahead of you to prove I am right. And thus the war begins! And Zero Listening happens. Because if you are someone is thinking of what they are going to say next or 3 steps ahead, then they aren't listening to you at all. In fact they aren't listening at all, zero, because they can't if they are too busy thinking and planning what they are going to say! #1 So, here's what you do!!! (It's sooooooooo Easy!!!) All you say is, "Hey, it's totally or completely ok if you don't agree with me or believe what I am saying?" "All I ask, is that you actually listen to what I am saying, and understand what I am saying." "As long as you listen to understand what i am saying and you actually understand what I am saying, then I am totally ok if you don't agree with what I am saying or believe me." "That's totally cool." "As long as we are on the same page and you understand me, then that's all I ask!" "If you understand what I am saying, then it's totally cool if you still don't agree with me or believe what I am saying, ok?" First of all, they will always say, sure, absolutely. And if you pay attention and watch closely, they will totally relax and may actually grin or smile in relief. And maybe take a deep relaxing breath, because now they know you are not trying to change them or force a belief on them. And then suddenly the doorway to listening opens wide open. You will absolutely be shocked at how powerful this simple, easy technique is. And all of a sudden your conversations will go smoothly and easily, because now they don't feel pressure and will.... (Now this one is AWESOME!!!) They will actually suddenly be absolutely curious and fascinated with what you are about to say and listen quietly and intently as if something amazing is about to be revealed! And Suddenly, you will become the Communication Master! Now if you add on part #2, you will be the communication master! Now, like I alluded to above many, many people have no clue what listening skills are. It's so funny when they talk about listening skills yet don't actually have a clue what that means..... :) Well, here is what listening skills actually are. All you have to do is "SHUT UP!!!" hahahaha... I am serious. Now what do I really mean? I mean, stop thinking completely! Zero! Now, how do you do this... #1 You realize, you don't' have to believe anything this person is saying to you. But, #2 It is your responsibility only to listen to understand! Write that down! Listen to Understand So what does that mean? That means you have to A. Stop that Chatter upstairs in your head. Go completely blank inside and listen to receive! This makes people feel listened to and cared about. No matter how much you care for someone, if you interrupt them or are thinking 3 steps ahead, it makes them feel like you don't give a damn about what they are expressing and sharing to you. And what's more important to a person than what they are expressing? Answer: Nothing! If you don't listen to understand, you are going to be in hot water. Now this is something that most men have a huge problem with, because men are fixers and are always rushing ahead to try to fix the problem... And many times, if not almost always, she doesn't want you to fix her or her problem at all... in facts, many times, it's already fixed. She just needs a friend to understand what she is going through. If you are not listening to understand her feelings and or emotions and what she thinks and is experiencing, then you have just completely blew it big time! So: B. Stop thinking about what you are going to say next and just simply shut up inside and go completely blank so you can actually #1 Receive what they are saying to you and #2 So you can Actually Listen to Understand. Now for those of you, probably all of you, who need help with slowing down the chatter upstairs and quieting the mind to the point of going completely blank when you need to Received someones Communication and Expressions and "LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND" what is most nearest and dearest to their hearts, is Meditation, Peripheral Vision and Internal Awareness! Meditation is a practice of quieting the mind and there are tons of techniques. But, the basic premises is to get quiet and stop thinking. See how long you can go until there literally is zero chatter. Now this may take a lot of practice, but 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours a day will be fine. Or even if you only pray for 20 minutes or so. yes, Prayer is and can be a deep form of meditation. And, while meditating, you will catch yourself thinking and having this internal dialogue which leads to the Last step Internal Awareness. So with meditation you are already doing the 3rd step. So, when you catch yourself chattering about something inside your head, just let it go... that's right, simply let it float away.... and when something else come up, all you do is be aware of it, notice it and let it float away... simply by being aware of it and noticing... over time, this will get slower and slower and slower as you go deeply into a conscious trance, deep, deep within... As Jesus was Famous for saying, "Look Within". And as Buddha teaches, The Divine within... Look within... Peripheral Vision for Internal Awareness Now Peripheral vision is when you don't narrow your focus but rather broaden it and notice what is on the periphery. If you don't know what that means, then look up that word now!!! The periphery is the outside circle of your vision. Instead of straining or trying to focus hard on a small target in front of you... let go and allow yourself to notice the bigger picture and notice what's around you... So how you do this, is look at a point directly in front of you and then soften your gaze and allow yourself to notice the outter edges of your vision without trying. See, if you are trying to focus, that's not the way to do it. Imagine the circle or target in front of you suddenly begins to expand and expand and expand and expand until it fills up the room or is as large as the room to your left, right, front and back... now this will expand your mind and open up your mind so you can Receive what someone is saying and listen to understand. Do you know what this is called? It's called Having an Open Mind! Yes, this is literally how you open up your mind. I personally find it hilarious when people talk about how open minded they are, when they are literally totally focused, narrow vision and in their closed mind, literally. You know what I say to these people when they say or talk about how people need to be more open minded? hahaha... I say, "SHOW ME!!!" hahahaha... And then they will get all confused and lost and say, "SHOW YOU WHAT?" hahahahaha... Hilarious... Don't you love it when people talk about Listening skills and How others need to be more Open minded and yet they have no clue what that actually means or how to do it? hahahaha... So just say to them, "SHOW ME!" :) And if they get more linear, focused, you know they are close minded. Oh, linear is when you narrow your vision and your pupils constrict and get smaller and also closer together like you are aiming a target. That's what we call Closed minded! So, to finish this off, you Go into Peripheral Vision and then you Go Internal into what's called Internal Awareness. What does that mean and how do you do it? As you are in peripheral vision, you pay attention to your feelings inside your body. So you literally put your awareness internal on your chest, lungs and back and expand that to your entire gut area and then all the way down your legs into your feet, feeling your entire body. This my friends is your radar system and will communicate massive, massive amounts of information to you about what someone's body language, tonality, tempo and rhythm are saying to you. Yes, people we massively communicate with body language as well as with the tone we use. This is Internal Awareness. And this is what we call Listening Skills! So, before you read this article, tell me the truth, did you have a clue what it truly means to have listening skills and know how to listen to understand someone? I am going to guess you had no clue! So now, don't be one of those people who talk about Listening skills and about being open minded. Instead, Go do it now!!! And then once you are there, ask them, "SHOW ME!!!" hahahahaha.... Have a great day everyone! I Love you all. May your new found listening skills change your life! And give you all the social power and Influencing power you desire now don't you? hehe... YOUR LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION AND INFLUENCE COACH Remember, Go Read Part II MIKE KOLLIN 415 456 8558 Give me a call if you have any questions. Better yet, come to an actual training on this set of skills and watch the rest of your life massively transform into more power, more creativity and more satisfaction in every area of life, love and relationships. Oh and Business too!!! This works Powerfully and gives you the Edge in Sales and marketing!!!